Into Twenty Thirteen...

 

In 2012, I blew my own mind.
When January '12 arrived, I told myself I would be braver. I told myself I would take chances and I did. I took a chance on love, and I took chances in my life, my friendships, my career, my faith and my dreams. I lost, I learned, I loved, I hurt, I broke-down, I asked for help, I got angry, I forgave and I apologized. 

I wrote the two paragraphs below in my first post of 2012, and today as I write this post, I realized it is still the lesson I am learning and taking into 2013. Weird innit?

"My biggest reality check was that it all boils down to love. The choices we make about the people around us and the role they play in our lives boils down to love. Love for God, one-self and others. It is my choice to love, serve, give, lift up and walk alongside people. It is my choice to decide where I place my identity, my heart and my value. It is my choice whom I choose to call lover and friend. Regardless of how people react to my choices and my personality, it is my choice to love while setting boundaries. Family, lovers and friends are designed to love you, but are prone to hurt you. It is your choice to decide to choose love."

"I am a better person, because of this realization. Walls do not heal, and in loving, walls must come down. Judgement, independence and confrontation do not hold love together.  Making up your mind about who you will become does not negate who others are and the freedom and space they need to be just that without castrating their every move. It all comes down to love."

2012 was a good year in many ways and harder in some. I am much more aware of who I am and what I want. My next two big realizations for the year apart from the above were:

• I accepted that my usually very high self esteem and confidence had been battered in the past 3 years, and I worked towards mending it. 

• I learnt to ask for help. I am a very independent person; I accept help when it is offered, but I am not one to ask. My mom has called me out on this, and this year I asked for help from my family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances and strangers. I'm still not comfortable doing it, but I ask. I asked for help even for money when I needed some, and I laid out my vulnerabilities.

I'm also aware of what I will not accept in love and in friendships. I opened up my heart to love, took a chance and was rejected. I became a better friend, settled into many of my friendships for what they really are, moved around my expectations of people and learnt what a few of my friends thought of me. I stopped blaming my personality and stopped accepting the blame on my personality for the issues in my friendships. It takes two to tango and this year, I called it all out as bullshit. I called my friends out on their crap, and they called me out on mine. I listened to their issues and judged their countenance. I settled my friendships and let others go. I made assumptions and came to conclusions. I walked away, and I crawled back. 

I fell in love with my siblings all over again. I fought with my parents and spoke back when I needed to. 

I pursued some dreams; I attended networking events, parties and workshops alone and met many of my clients there. I read my writing out loud in front of others writers and took in their criticisms. I held back my life and opened it up. I completed JostWrite's website and logo. I met people online I would not have met if I stuck to my comfort zone and to what I know.  

I started an internship in a new and familiar field. I graduated with a PR degree for my Bachelors and basically went back to doing it with a focus on administrations and event management. 

I am SLOWLY (emphasis on slowly) loosing the overwhelming and consuming desire to "Get it." All my life, I have been on a constant hub to figure out my purpose, take it by the horn and run with it. Regardless of this overpowering desire to figure it out and succeed, there existed a part of me that was not sure exactly what that purpose was. I spent a large part of my life confused and antsy. This past year, I am SLOWLY understanding my journey and losing the desire to figure it out. Each day and the steps I take are part of living my journey.

Stepping into 2013, I decided not to make big or new plans like I did for 2012, but I will continue to be brave and bold. However, my biggest focus would be working harder and smarter on the dreams I already have, especially the dreams that have stayed constant for many years. My 2013 goals are on paper, but like I mentioned in my introspection post in November, they are significantly shorter than my list from previous years. In many ways, 2013 would not be understated, but I am started out on a calmer note.

I hope all your dreams for 2012 came true and if not, I wish you nothing but absolute joy and success in 2013. Aim higher, focus and work harder.

Happy New Year, and see You in 2013!

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!
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Book Review: Nothing Comes Close by Tolulope Popoola

Genre: Romance

My Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

When drama stalks the man you love, it is important to evaluate what you want...him or a drama-less life. Beautiful, sassy and independent Lola had to make that decision about her relationship with handsome and mysterious Wole in Tolulope Popoola's debut novel, Nothing Comes Close. For a romance novel, the twist and suspense embedded in the pages made it all the more delightful.

Last year, I had the honors of critiquing the manuscript. I was super excited to receive the published book in the mail earlier this month, and I was not disappointed. Set in the United Kingdom: London and Milton Keynes, and Lagos, Nigeria, Nothing Comes Close is an enjoyable read with an authentic portrayal of love, life and relationships.

The characters are three-dimensional, and readers will experience them from different angles of self while they evolve into who they had to become at the end of the book. Flawed, in love and very humane. The story-line is about more than Lola and Wole's relationship; we get a glimpse into Lola's struggle with her career and how she took steps to resolve it. We dug into the protagonists' (Lola and Wole) past, lived out their present and made conclusions about their future. 

Nothing Comes Close explores friendships, death, infidelity and the depth that humans can subscribe to for love and lust. A death in the plot was a strategic platform that opens us up to human frailty. In one scene after the death, Wole and Lola shared a vulnerable and authentic moment. The stories they shared of their past in this scene seen far-fetched (on the other hand, it is a creative work and anything can happen),but it worked well in the aftermath of the death of a friend. That scene cast Wole in a different light. He is my favorite character. He is an intense and well-developed character, and his role helped the plot reach its climax and resolution.

The dialogue and language nuances between the characters, especially the humor-filled conversations between Wole and his friends, are original. Another quality to the story that I enjoyed, applauded and respected is the picture the author painted of Nigerians living abroad. Popoola was apologetically Nigerian in writing Nothing Comes Close, but she told it without watering down the ways of life of Nigerians in the Diaspora and without tailoring it to read like Nigerians living in Nigeria. I appreciated her characters.

A few scenes stood out as unusual. One of such scene was when Wole googled Maureen's alleged killer. His comment about the ladies not looking at his image when they googled him earlier seem unbelievable and out of place. In addition to a few unusual scenes, I will edit down the text to get rid of repetition and descriptions that added little or nothing to the story. 

I was also impressed with the love-making scenes between Wole and Lola. She wrote it tastefully and concisely good that it left me yearning for me. Isn't that what sex should do? Leave you satisfied, but desiring more. Okay, I digress :) Our imagination is heightened in the short paragraphs she dedicated to the different sex scenes. We caught a glimpse of what happened without intruding on the intimacy of the lover's moment. I tip my hat!

Popoola is definitely a blossoming and talented writer whose debut novel is a must read set up to produce a sequel. There is a lot to choose from, but I am excited that she is expanding Temmy's story into a book. I am looking forward to more from Popoola.

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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Magic is Still in the Air...

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. I did!

I spent the day with my parents, siblings, brother-in- love, his parents, his sister and her boyfriend. Our home was full with laughter, fun and FOOD!

In the evening, we Skyped my uncles, aunts and cousins in Florida, and it got louder. So much fun! 

I also finished two books over the holidays:  Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali and Baby's Proof by Emily Griffin. The latter is on my 2013 reading list and it isn't 2013 yet. :) I enjoyed both books immensely, and I'm hoping to muster up the motivation to write reviews on both soon. I started another book off my 2013 list last night: Memoir of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. I might just be doing better with my 2013 list than I did with my 2012 list. :)

Bliss!

I hope to be back tomorrow with a book review on Nothing Comes Close by Tolulope Popoola. 

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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Merry Christmas...

I'm taking next week off, and I might post once or twice. I want to enjoy my family being in the same city for the first time in many years. If I decide not to post once or twice next week, then I hope you have a good Christmas and a wonderful week. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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A Sweet Serving...

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

I am...

 ...off to my work's holiday party today. I hope you have a wonderful day, and I will see you tomorrow with another insightful quote.

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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Lyrically Speaking...

I am crushing on India Arie's new song 6th Avenue. I heard it last Saturday while hanging with my sister and it has been on replay ever since. I am definitely buying it on iTunes. All proceeds from the sale of this song goes to benefit victims of Sandy; a good reason to invest in it.

Arie can make any song on any topic positively seductive and clean. This song makes me want to find HIM, marry Him and cuddle with HIM all day long dreaming of all the possibilities. It also makes New York city come alive for me...where I want to be for New Year's eve. :)

Enjoy 6th Avenue with me....



Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

Without Him...

The world is celebrating the birth of our savior exactly a week from today, and for many, it is a day to relax with family as the year comes to end. For others like me, it is a day to relax with family, and to celebrate the birth of a Love that has saved me and a Love that is keeping me.

I am a Christian, and it took me many years after I believed in Christ to proudly own that. Even though, I grew up in a Church-goers home, I am intimately aware of how how I felt about Christians before I chose Christ. It was not a good picture. Today, I love the Lord God, and I'm learning to love Him with all my heart and strength. I always say Christ is the best thing that has happened in my world, and I deeply mean and believe that statement. Without Christ, I would be a different person and on a different journey. 

Today, I am reflecting on how loved and blessed I am in Christ. I am also reflecting on how without him, I am unable to do anything of eternal value. As I journey along my path in life and take steps forward in my journey, I am thankful that I have a God who has promised that He will never leave nor forsake me. I am in love with a God who made me aware that trials and pain will come, but He is there with and for me through it all. He is walking with me and taking every step with me. When my shoes feel heavy, He is carrying me.  He is there comforting me, soothing me, breaking me, reshaping me, molding me and renewing my heart for good.

I am daily aware of the changes in my heart. I know the love, mercy, confidence, grace I feel and give are a result of the Word and Spirit working together and shaping me into a woman that loves absolutely.

As we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, let's give gifts to all our loved ones and in addition, let's give Love and Hope. Let's also give ourselves over day by day to a God that is good, selfless and sovereign. For He so loves the world and because of that Love which also resides with Justice, He gave up His only begotten Son in love so that justice is served, and that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

Today, I am meditating on Romans 8:31-32:
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Even in tragedy like the one in Newport, Connecticut, God is good and He uses pain to bring about good. I do not understand some times, and I questions and yell at Him many times. However, from personal experience, I know He is Loving, Good and Just. I know that even in this, He has a plan that works it all out for good. It is in His shoes that I hope to walk.

Have a wonderful week and Merry Christmas!

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!


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Last Week....

...was sad because of the shooting in Newport, Connecticut. What is our country and world turning into? Thinking of the pain and questions on these families' minds make me stop every time I want to complain or murmur. Life is fragile...one moment we are here and the next we are gone. Little children with immeasurable potentials do not have a chance to live it out, and families are mourning at Christmas. It saddens my heart, and I don't have the answers, but I pray that Christ will comfort all those affected and use this tragedy for good like only Him can. 

On my "Shop my Closet" for work challenge, I did not get the chance to take pictures. I went into work twice, but I only have this Instagram image from Friday morning right before I left the house. I was wearing black knee length boots from DSW. My hair is out of twist after seven weeks, and I am loving it. 

Week 6 - Day 12:Monday
Sad to report: I woke up late, and had to rush through the entire day. Taking a picture was far from my mind. I will better in the last two weeks of this year.

Week 6 - Day 13: Friday
Boots (not pictured here, but worn in second image here): DSW 
Jeans/ Suit Jacket: Gift from friends
Gold top: Vintage 
Purse: Nine West
Scarf: A stall in the middle of the mall
Ring: Vintage


Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

A Sweet Serving...

True, but I am glad that even when no human is able to embark on a few roads with me, Christ has promised to never leave nor forsake me. I am NEVER walking alone.

I wish you a wonderful weekend with family, friends and loved ones!

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

Santa Baby, Hurry Down the Chimney Tonight...

I have been watching a lot of Christmas movies lately. it is my personal Christmas tradition to cuddle with a cup of warm apple cider and watch Christmas movies back to back ALONE. The alone part is important, because it is how I enjoy watching movies in general. Sometimes, I watch three to four movies in one sitting. I love Christmas season and movies...I DO! It seems like all wishes in Christmas movies come true.

This Christmas and for 2013, I am not wishing for a lot. I want to be joyful, healthy and successful; I do want the same for my family and friends, but while I am wishing for that...

Dear Santa, in addition to the above, below are a few bonuses I will gladly accept this Christmas. As you can see, my list is way shorter than last year's list. It is my attempt at not stressing you out, because I know you are busy.:) I have also been very nice this year if I can say so myself. 

SO....

• A sky-diving experience
• Dark chocolate...truck load of different kinds.
• A camera
• Love
• A full-time job with over-the-top benefits
• An all-expense paid trip to San Diego
• Books from my 2013 reading List
• A full-day spa treat
• New year's trip to New York: A kiss when the ball drops, and a date to see Lion King on Broadway
• A new car
• Death to my student loans
• Pain-free heels
• An all-expense paid spree to Victoria Secret

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!
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2012 Reading List Recap...2013 Reading List

I made a 2012 Reading List of 20 books last year. Sadly, I got through only four books: A Woman in Berlin, The Small Print, Kite Runner and Love in Paradise. I dumped To Kill a Mockingbird half way through, and I'm currently reading Infidel. I blame this poor record on reading what fell on my lap not what I wanted to read.

I read a few books that were not on my list, but I make no intentional effort to go after the books on my list. I read whatever I found laying around or whichever book was gifted to me. Unfortunately, I read less and did not feel excited about reading, because most of the books I read were not what I wanted to read. 

I love reading, but this year, I missed out on the pleasure and joy that comes with staying up all night to finish a book. I have only had that pleasure with one or two books this year. I also do better as a writer when I am reading what I enjoy.

I am hoping I can make a change in 2013 by reading what I feel like reading and what I love to read. Fortunately for me, the kind of books I want to read changes as the season changes. My desire can go from political fictions and non fictions to biographies and women fictions just as fast as the flowers blossom in early spring. I like this, because it helps me learn about different writing styles. I am currently craving summer beach reads, but my 2013 Reading List is not limited to that. 

Half of these books were on my 2012 list. 

Memoir of a Geisha by Arthur Golden (Arrived in the mail) :)

Hunger Game Trilogy: Hunger game, Catching Fire and Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins

Beloved by Toni Morrison

Lolita by Vladimir Vladimirovich Nabokov
Love at Dawn by Lara Daniels
Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
There Was a Country by Chinua Achebe
Baby's Proof by Emily Griffin (Arrived in the mail) :)
Arrow of God by Chinua Achebe

The Officers Bride by Lara Daniels
Wanderlust by Elisabeth Eaves

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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A Conscious Effort to Live Naturally...

I believe my blog "A Thousand Miles...The First Steps" is aptly named. I am on a journey, and I know we all are. However, I am keenly aware of this truth lately, and I'm more intimately connected to the journey itself. Every aspect of my life is a mini-journey and plays its own unique part in my overall journey.

The weeks before 2013 are my introspection weeks; I spent a few hours over the Thanksgiving weekend looking back into 2012 and looking forward into 2013. I realized I'm at peace, and the intense desire to accomplish it all is SLOWLY giving way to enjoying the journey. This truth was alive in the way I approached what I put in and on my body. I have always desired to live healthy, naturally, organically and be socially conscious when about what I put in and on my body. However, it felt like there was an overwhelming list of things to do to get there. I actually went vegetarian for a week a few years ago, and it was so hard. Maybe if I had looked at it as a journey not something to just turn around and do...I might have succeeded past a week. :)

2012 was a year I saw myself take more radical steps to accomplish the lifestyle I want in health, wellness and beauty. I am not going all organic or vegetarian (well not yet), and I have not dumped all my chemical-rich store bought beauty products. However, I took a hard look at my life, my choices and the products I use and began wondering how to incorporate or switch to natural or organic substitutes. In 2012, I began questioning why I am not using natural, toxin free and socially conscious products. I also began asking myself to develop the habit of investing in entrepreneurs and smaller businesses. 

Truth be told, I am currently taking bigger steps in what I put on my skin (beauty) than in what I put into my body (diet) and where I spend my money, but each step I take opens me up to making changes in other areas. It is a journey, and I am taking the steps. It does involve a few research into the science above and beyond what the blogsphere had to say.

Changes I made in 2012: 

• I use *coconut oil as a facial moisturizer in the mornings and at night. 
• I use a blend of *olive oil and Shea butter (winter) as a body moisturizer.
• I use *raw honey as a facial cleanser in the mornings and at night when I have no makeup on
• I use the oil cleansing method (blend of castor oil and olive oil) as a facial cleanser when I have makeup on.
• I use a mix of honey, coconut oil and brown sugar paste as a lip scrub.

I am looking forward to implementing more changes. For instance, I am almost done with my St. Ives apricot scrub and I could re-invest in this company. Its products are advertised to be toxin, paraben and animal testing free (I need to investigate that), but I am thinking of going all natural by using oat, brown sugar, honey and kiwi or strawberry as a scrub twice a week.

I am excited to keep moving in this direction in 2013, and I can tell you that the results are unbelievable already.

If you use natural products for your beauty regimen, what products do you use & how?

Oh, I am currently shopping around for a natural deodorant. Any ideas? :)

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

*Organic
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I'm the Newest Yoga Newbie in Town...

Hello BlogFam...It's another week in my 1000Miles journey.
I hope you had a wonderful weekend. Mine was uneventful...except for an impromptu dinner out with a friend on Saturday night and time with my sister on Sunday night. I spent the weekend shampooing and hennaing my hair, and cleaning the house. 

I started Yoga last week. Finally! It has been interesting, but I like it and hope to keep doing it through 2013. I am definitely a beginner and also a very tensed up woman.:) The moves were a bit challenging, but I am excited to see how I progress. It has also not been bad for my back...I was worried with all the twisting and turning I had to do. I am more aware of my breathing as I go through my day, and I am taking more deeper and satisfying breaths. I have also been noticing how tensed up I get especially around my neck and shoulders, but I am doing my best to relax as I go about my day. Trying Yoga has been on my 30 before 30 list for a while, and I am glad that I can cross it off with a smile.

Anyways, here is last week's "Shop my Closet" for work challenge. 
Truth be told, I'm ready to be done with this challenge. I enjoy shopping my closet, and I do not have an overwhelming desire to shop, but it is nice to have the option. Sigh! However, I think taking pictures each time I go to work is draining, and it is starting to get to me. I'm glad I have a few more days before the year and this challenge is over. I know for sure I'm not cut out to be a fashion blogger. 

Okay, now that I got that off my chest, here are my outfits from last week.

Week 5 - Day 9: Monday
Top: Marshalls
Skirt: Vintage
Boots: DSW
Jacket: Forever 21
Scarf: Friend (wedding favor)
Bracelet: Vintage
Earrings: Gift from sister

Week 5 - Day 10: Wednesday
Dress: Wet Seal 
**Belt: Nine West via Marshalls
**Shoes: Target
Necklace: Vintage
Bracelets: Gifts from my sister
Earrings: Vintage

Week 5 - Day 11: Friday
Sad to report: I did not take pictures; everyone else was out the house when I was ready to leave. I was in jeans... so it does not count, right?

How was your weekend?

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

Day 30: One Thing I am Excited for...

You bet! 
I have never been at peace and excited for a year like I am for 2013.
I know it will be better than I am dreaming, hoping, wishing and praying!
This is my last post in the 30 Day Challenge post. Pheww! That is all I have to say! :)

Ephesians 3:20: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us."

[About 30 Days Challenge]
Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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Movie Review: Hyde Park on Hudson

A client recently gifted me two advance screening tickets to the movie Hyde Park on Hudson at the Landmark Theater (E Street Cinema) in DC. It is not a movie I would choose, but I decided to brave the cold even after my friend cancelled because of the flu. I'm glad I went; it was a witty movie. Hyde Park on Hudson is out at the theaters on Friday, December 7th. 

Hyde Park on Hudson explores the private life of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt and frames it through the first ever visit of a reigning British monarch to the United State. When you put the President of the United State, the First Lady, the King and Queen of England, the president's mother and his mistresses in one room, you are definitely walking on the edge of disaster. It is a delightful personal exploration of the inner lives and struggles of the powerful, and It reveals the insecurities of celebrated world leaders and shows them flawed like the rest of us.

The historical tale accurately combines wit and charm. The story is told from the point of view of Daisy, a simple woman played by Laura Linney. She is a distant cousin to FDR, played by Bill Murray, and eventually his mistress. We are shown a different side of the great leader as seen through her eyes. The movie opens up with her being called up to Hyde Park by FDR's mother to see her cousin who just happens to be the President. After showing her his stamps, they become regular friends and she began spending time with the president. The relationship goes down a different path when the President drives Daisy into a beautiful field of flowers, and she gives him a hand job. It is June 1939, and FDR is to host the King and Queen of England (Samuel West and Olivia Colman) for a weekend at the Roosevelt mansion in Hyde Park on Hudson. The visit is of international significant. Britain faces an inevitable war with Germany, and the monarchy needs to get the USA support through FDR. 

This weekend of international significance was set into the complexities of family, love and drama. FDR, his brazen wife Eleanor (Olivia Williams), his overbearing mother Sara Anna (Elizabeth Wilson) and his intimate Daisy made the weekend one the king, queen and viewers would never forget.

Murrey's delivery stood out, there was a glimmer in his eyes that made him charming, irresistible and humane. He warmed the hearts of many young ladies and of King George VI. The King and Queen of England owned the movie alongside FDR, and for a movie that was from Daisy's perspective, there were many private moments that she was not and could not be part of. Given that the king and queen had to follow the tough act of Colin Firth and Helena Bonham Carter in The King's Speech, their interaction was both interesting and amusing as they adjusted to America.

The movie makers enjoyed the freedom of creating the private moments of the leaders of America and Britain. Though the movie offers its few best moments in the interaction between the King and Queen, the most noteworthy performance and interaction was the first private meeting of FDR and King George VI. In that very fulfilling scene, the leaders had a honest one on one, and  Roosevelt spoke candidly to the young king about how the people choose to look on their strengths not their weaknesses.

Hyde Park on Hudson was slow in weaving each scene into another, but it never felt dry. Each scene was orchestrated to highlight a point or pass across a message. The movie was comedic, and I was laughing a heck lot at a movie that showcases insecurities, broken hearts and the coming together of two great nations on the edge of a war.

Hyde Park on Hudson is at the theaters on Friday, December 7th. 

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!

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The Constancy of Family...

Hi BlogFam...I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I did! I was out of town; I spent my weekend at an engagement party, wedding dress shopping, a banquet and at the movies. I think I got home at 3am on Friday and Saturday nights, but it was all worth the fun. I finally saw "Twilight: Breaking Dawn 2" and I almost lost my heart. I liked it, because I am a fan. In addition, my friend also said yes to a dress...YES! :)

It was also a very emotional weekend...in both good and bad ways! Pheww! I am glad to be back home with my family with their constant love and familiar bickering. Family is home! Friends come and friends go, but family...well, they have no choice. :)

It is time for another "Shop my Closet" update. I was at work twice last week and on Monday, I could not be bothered. I woke up late, and grabbed whatever stood out in my closet. All dark colors!  Here are my outfits for Week 4.

Week 4 - Day 7: Monday
Heels: Nine West
Pant: Victoria Secret
Cardigan: Wetseal
Top: Gift from a friend
**Belt: H&M
Wrist Hoops // Earrings: Gifts from my sister
Necklace: Birthday gift from my brother
Rings: Vintage

Week 4 - Day 8: Thurday
Boots: Steve Madden
Skirt: Urban Outfitters 
Sweater:Victoria Secret
Silk Top: Gift from my mom
Jacket: TJ Maxx
Necklace: Gift from my sister
Rings // Stud: Vintage

Beloved, You are Loved Absolutely!